I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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