Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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