mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
This baby is an asshole
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
