I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
