somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize