But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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