ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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