I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
