You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
