yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
