Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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