walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
