Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
