who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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