I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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