I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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