So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
