I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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