dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
