SEEEEXXX PLEASE
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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