Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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