Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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