May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
