Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
