had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
