addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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