No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
