my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
