Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
