Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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