i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
