Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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