do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
