i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
