i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
do herpes really smell.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
