we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
