I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
