You're completely useless in the revolution.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
