the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
