Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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