I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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