READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
