Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
