i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just gift wrapped bread.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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