i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
