PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
