That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
