I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
