so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize