U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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