my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
