The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
