He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
